Quick Pro "China Hand" Tip -Learn to Use Chopsticks
Greetings! Last time I got a little long winded. Apologies.
Several reasons but I will try to do better in the future, Perhaps edited, shorter versions of my favorite pieces will become a feature for paid subscribers when the time comes. In the meantime, as I get further ahead on my schedule, with more time for editing, things pieces should become tighter, more controlled.
Today, for my Thursday evening media dump, I begin with what may or may notbe period racism ( shared ,for educational and illustrative purposes only, of course. More details below), and then what is perhaps the single, most useful thing that one might ever learn if one is a Westerner considering spending time in East Asia.
As always, thanks for stopping by for your weekly Asian studies fix.
A silly meme I found on social media where someone took a pulp fiction illustration and added silly humor to it. Maybe it's period racism, but the original illustration is actually from 1981. In fairness, it may not be. The two Caucasians also have very strange faces. One has to wonder if the artist had just one model available (perhaps himself?) and they looked like this? Kind of a snarly, looking big-toothed, angry looking, thuggy sort of model? According to his official biography written by his son, he often used friends, family, and neighbors as models so that's my guess. In the meantime . . . a useful lesson.
People often ask me “If I am going to go to China, should I learn Chinese?”
To which I am inclined to laugh and say “Well, make sure that you learn how to say ‘Hello,’ ‘Please,’ Thank you,” and ‘Excuse me,’ (as if you made a social mistake. )1 Make it a priority. 2 But after that, please understand time spent studying Chinese, or any other complex, non-Western language is wonderful, but the study comes with diminishing returns the longer one pursues it, and I speak as someone who recently returned to the study of Chinese language after years of on again off again Chinese language study. I have never worked so hard at anything without achieving my goals as the study of the Chinese written and spoken language. If you decide one day to learn to read, write, and speak fluent Chinese, chances are pretty good years later, you, too, will not have met your goal.
It’s not easy. I have been blessed with the rare opportunity to study Chinese in some of the best opportunities for study in the world and still not met my goals.
So, if the East Asian Languages are so dog-gone tough to learn, what’s one simple, easy to learn skill that will impress East Asian people??
SIMPLE. LEARN TO USE CHOPSTICKS.
Yes, if you REALLY want to learn a skill that will help in your interactions with East Asian people, here it is, Learn to use chopsticks.
When in East Asia, if one is a foreign person sitting at a table of local people who are all eating with chopsticks, then be forewarned people will notice if you, too, use chopsticks or not. If you do use chopsticks, you are generally seen as a wonderful, highly cultured foreign person worthy of praise. And if you do not use chopsticks and try to eat local food with a fork while everyone else around you is using chopsticks, your friends will see you as a funny, funny, uncultured foreign person, and they will not just tell people that you are eating with a fork and not chopsticks. And it won’t just be them. If you are in a restaurant or at a wedding or banquet, the strangers around you will also be laughing at you.
It’s a binary, black-white, win-lose thing with no middle ground.
In fact, some time ago I commented on the way in which single White men who live in East Asia alone for years, often get very strange personalities marked by eccentric thoughts and arrogance. I explained, “If people tell you for five years straight that you are a genius because you know how to use chopsticks, ultimately you come to believe it on some level.” 3
And for that reason, I offer two excellent, YouTube videos. If you need to, get some chopsticks, some rice or Chinese food, details don’t matter, and practice in privacy. But if you want to spend time interacting properly in Asian culture, learn to use chopsticks:
In the meantime, should you wish some background on the silly illustration . . .
The illustration is work by Norman Saunders, an American illustrator known for exciting, pulp fiction illustrations. For those in the know, he illustrated the infamous “Mars Attacks” trading cards among other things, and lived from 1907 to 1989 and this particular illustration is entitled “Daring Rescue” and dates from 1981. It is an unpublished book cover. Saunders, like so much in the universe, has a Wikipedia page: WIkipedia: Norman Saunders
Daring Rescue, unpublished book cover, 1981
Medium, Oil on canvas, Original Size 28 x 18 in. (71.1 x 45.7 cm.)
You can find more on his work here and elsewhere on the web:
https://www.mutualart.com/Artwork/Daring-Rescue--unpublished-book-cover/C3F727C0CB840EF6
Next time, thoughts on dinosaurs on Noah’s Ark and dealing with believers in pseudohistory and other strange ideas.
Footnotes
Many languages distinguish between two different forms of the English term “excuse me.” One version is the “please let me pass by you” —without taking offense as if we are in a crowded room— form, and the other is “I know I have done something wrong. Please forgive me, and let’s not take offense and fight” form of ‘excuse me.”
Long time readers and people who know me in real life know that I study martial arts and self-defense (overlapping skills but not necessarily the same things at all). Therefore, trust me on this. Learning to say “I am sorry. I am new here. Excuse me,” in the local language(s) is a much more important component of a long-term survival strategy than 10 hours of hand-to-hand combat or knife fighting lessons. It will bode thee well and pay great dividends. If you travel in exotic lands where they do not speak your language, or in exotic locales and sub-cultures not too far from home, learn to say the magic words “hello,” “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” in the languages of the people who may encounter, befriend, and offend. These magic words will serve thee well. Trust me on this.
If you are a Star Trek fan, like I am, ask yourself, “What would Captain Jean Luc Picard do?” And if you recognize the name, you know darn well that when things get tense and people (and other sentient creatures) start fingering their weapons and preparing for violence, a good response is to say “I’m sorry. Excuse me, I am new here. Please explain things to me.”
Consider checking this out if you don’t believe me: Wikipedia - "Charisma Man" comic